In the Philippines, grief is never meant to be carried alone. One of the most meaningful traditions that reflects this is the lamay — the Filipino wake. A lamay is more than just a viewing. It is a gathering of family, friends, neighbors, and even distant acquaintances who come together to pray, share stories, offer support, and keep vigil with the departed.
Losing an ex can be confusing in ways that are hard to explain. You may no longer be part of each other’s lives. You may not have spoken in years. And yet, when you learn that they’re gone, something shifts inside you — quietly, unexpectedly. This kind of loss doesn’t always have a name, but it is real.
After a loss, people often ask, “What should I do now?” It’s a reasonable question — and a hard one. Because grief doesn’t come with a checklist. There is no single next step that suddenly makes things feel manageable again. If you’re feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or frozen in place, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re grieving.
